Saturday, August 27, 2016

Three Tips for Becoming More Calm and Centered

Three Things Calm, Centered Women do Every Day

by Kathleen Lisson

One: Calm, centered women are aware and accepting when they are not calm and centered. Our quick-fix society puts an emphasis on immediately eliminating any emotion that is not positive. A crying child is distracted with treats or told to ‘quiet down,’ and a teenager with text anxiety is reassured with ‘don’t worry, you’ll do fine.’  It is difficult to have an emotion without trying to change it if it is unwanted or hold on tight to it if it is wanted. We can try it ourselves with this test right now: Wherever we are, try to become aware of our posture and feel our neck, shoulders and back without immediately straightening up or moving around. It’s hard to resist! Cultivating an acceptance of our emotions, good and bad, can take away the stress of trying to be someone we are not.

Greater awareness is the another key to feeling more centered. As anyone who has snapped “I’m not angry!” to their spouse has realized, knowing when we are irritated is not always easy. ‘Waking up’ to our emotions as they happen is developed by the second thing calm, centered women do - meditate.

Two: Calm, centered women protect and nurture their daily meditation practice. Research shows that many benefits can be seen after meditating just a few minutes a day. The hard part? Finding time and motivation to make meditation a habit. Calm, centered women have found the key to keeping meditation in our daily wellness practices, right along with must-do’s like brushing our teeth. The key to making meditation into a habit is to find a ‘trigger’ that reminds us to meditate. Schedule meditation for the same place in our schedules each morning and it will become the automatic thing to do after making a cup of tea or walking the dog.

Three: Calm, centered women take time for mindfulness throughout our day. When we sense ourselves becoming agitated, breathing slowly on and out for thirty seconds or noticing the feeling of our feet on the ground helps us become centered and aware of the present moment. I have used these ‘stealth’ mindfulness exercises before taking an exam, in the middle of a meeting with colleagues, in my doctor’s office in Carmel Valley or at a noisy party or walking down the street in downtown San Diego Gaslamp district, all times where emotions and anxiety can run high.

Kathleen Lisson is a certified Meditation Teacher and Labyrinth Facilitator and teaches Meditation and Mindfulness at IPSB college in San Diego. Sign up for a private meditation lesson or labyrinth walk in the comfort of your home here:

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